Hallelujah
by haunted-eternity
Summary: He missed the sonic boom of the lone plane that broke off from the wing of the other Navy planes. Jenny/Gibbs.


Disclaimer: I still dont own anything. Otherwise I would have never written a song fic to this song.

Song is Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. I still get really sad and still remember this song playing when CJ Cregg is crying for the loss of Simon Donovan (Mark Harmon) on The West Wing. :(

Well I heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do ya?  
Well it goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

__

The funeral was quiet, at least in his perspective. He couldn't hear the 21 gun salute, he didn't hear the bagpipes playing a top the hill, or the solitary drummer beating the lone soldier's beat. He missed the sonic boom of the lone plane that broke off from the wing of the other Navy planes. He saw Abby crying next to him, and the lone tears that slipped down Ziva's face as she stood on his other side. He stepped out of the crowd to give the eulogy, to tell everyone she died bravely, and in the face of death believed that everything and everyone around her was going to be okay. As okay as the world would be without Jennifer Shepard in it. That her work, as the first female head of an armed agency, meant something to the future. It was a time to remember the things that made her great, to tell the small group of people that they meant everything to her. When he stepped back to his seat he took Abby's hand in his and squeezed, reminding himself that he still had to be strong for everyone else. The flag draped on the polished mahogany coffin was lifted and folded expertly by each of the military branches, and when he was presented with the flag the skies opened up and it started to drizzle. A perfect way to hide the tears he knew were forming in his eyes. When the service ended he waited until everyone was gone and picked up the lone white rose in the bunches that surrounded the grave site. He brought it up to his nose, inhaling the sent that always reminded him of the days spent undercover, and pressed the petals against his lips before throwing it into the hole in the ground, landing a top the other roses that littered the coffin lid. "I'll always love you Jen" he said quietly, holding the flag tight to his chest. Turning around to face the row of cars waiting for him, his team huddled together, everyone huddling around Abby, trying to console her. He looked up to the sky once more, the rain mixing with the salty tears escaping his eyes, then moved his head to look at the ground, counting the number of steps he took as he walked farther away from the place she would remain.

--

Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
she tied you to her kitchen chair  
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

--

When he first met her she was young, and beautiful. Safe to say that this was going to be a partnership that was going to last. Her green eyes sparkled with mischief as they began their undercover assignment. She knew the dress was risqué when she saw it in the small boutique store. But she could help but buy it, even if she knew she would never leave the hotel with it on. He was under her spell, he had never known how it came about, but she had managed to hold his heart in the palm of her hand, and there was nothing he could do to stop her. They were supposed to be a military couple, not a very big stretch for him, but she said his hair was too floppy. That was the current reason he was being shoved into a chair, her threatening him with a pair of sharp sheers, and a razor. She knew what she was doing, that much he was certain of as he watched her through the mirror. Her tongue slipped through her ruby painted lips ever so slightly in concentration, her forehead creased in a not so unattractive way. He would have laughed at how cute this scene was, but she had sharp objects in hand, and he would never admit to using the word cute. When she was done she let a triumphful _done_ and tossed the sheers and razor onto the table stand beside her. He got up from the chair to survey her work closely, and as she came up behind him and stood up pressed against his backside he turned quickly and pushed her back up against the mirror, her green eyes shimmering with playfulness and a smirk on her lips. He bowed his head down and kissed the smirk right off her face, her arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him in closer as he pressed the rest of him flush against her. It is safe to assume they were a little late to the meeting.

--

Well baby I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew ya  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

--

He walked throughout the house, it didn't feel like hers anymore. Her stuff was packed in boxes, not much of her things remaining, but enough for everyone to assume that she lived there. He and Franks had taken the boxes to the car Franks had driven here, for fear of Vance looking through the government issued vehicle Gibbs had driven over to Jen's townhouse. Jen didn't have many things left at her house, most of her possessions were brought over every week in small bundles. They had just renewed what they had lost so many years ago after the mission in Paris, after she left with only a Dear John letter sitting on the pillow beside him as he woke up that morning. They had seen a lot of each other, and that was the hardest part of going back to his house later, she would no longer be there. Her town house would be torched as a cover, one provided by Vance, but a cover none the less. As he roamed the streets of Georgetown, aimlessly walking, he didn't realize the temperature drop or the slight breeze, he had just kept walking, needing to get away from the smell of burning wood and sirens as the night crept into the wee hours of the morning. He never looked back to see if Vance was following him and never looked back on the house that was on fire.

--

Well there was a time when you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show that to me do you?  
And remember when I moved in you?  
And the holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

--

She had never told him of the disease that was robbing her of her late years. He hadn't pressed after the day in the elevator, he knew she would tell him when she was ready. When she accepted the facts he would be there to support her. But as he looks back now, she never fully processed the facts. She had just wanted to live the remainder of her life with him, in a false sense of happiness to her health, but she would be happy with him. That much she had said, and it showed. He wouldn't have thought of her any differently if she had to him. He would still have loved her, the same as he did every day before then. But she had wanted the last months to be sacred, and passionate and full of life, happy. He could still remember the last day they spent together, the night before she went to Decker's funeral. It was like any other night they had spent together, afterwards she had curled herself against him, her ear pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and the constant, strong thumping lulling her into a peaceful sleep. He watched her breathing even out, carefully moving his fingers up and down the side of her and letting out a contented sigh, letting his eyes slip closed, finally dropping off to sleep.

--

Well maybe there's a God above  
But all I've ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot somebody who'd out drew ya  
And it's not a cry that you hear at night  
It's not somebody who's seen the light  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

--

Sitting down at the stool in his basement he looked at his boat, it was finally complete, thanks to her help. _Not that it really mattered now_, he thought as he poured the bourbon into a mason jar and took a swig of it. He was never one to understand religion and higher beings, he just understood that whatever it was had a wicked sense of humor, that much he learned when Shannon and Kelly were taken away from him so long ago. Now Jenny was the next person taken from him. The three people that he loved with all his heart, gone, in a matter of seconds. He got revenge for all three of them. Sniping the Mexican assassin when he learned where he was hiding, and Svetlana when she came to Jenny's town house, looking for Mr. Oshimida as a last revenge mission. He had cried to himself both times he found out, wondering if the cosmos suddenly had it in for him. Franks had been there for him for both deaths, and he was the only one who fully comprehended what he was going through. Even knowing how much Gibbs had loved the women in his life, he couldn't make it hurt any less.

--  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
--

As Gibbs stood at the window overlooking the Anacostia River at NCIS headquarters he couldn't help but wonder if Jenny would be looking at the river if she was still here.

--

Fin.


End file.
